~A New Phase, Celebrating Family, and a Return to the Jungle~

Something has changed. A shift, so subtle that I did not notice the moment of its arrival; yet so unmistakable and overt that I cannot but continually be confronted by it. A silent explosion- or maybe an implosion into silence- I am almost unable to articulate.

It is not the experience of refined concentration, for this comes and goes, and I am accustomed to its ebb and flow. No, this is something wholly other...something that is beginning to know itself. More accurately, something that is beginning to see how it could not possibly be this mind or this body, nor anything that arises in awareness. Waking up from a long, deep, disorganized dream, something is stirring in its last moments of sleep.

It has been now just over 2 weeks since the 3-month retreat came to an end. Integration back to the high speed, high stimulation lifestyle of this culture has been quite interesting, teaching me much. I find that if I make the commitment, the householder’s life can be one of great mindfulness and wisdom. This lesson has become clear as I find myself joyfully engaged in family togetherness.

Xmass Dinner at Mom's

Though it is often filled to the brim with tasks and busywork, I see now that there is no time whatsoever when one is cut off from the opportunity to reconnect with reality. Reality is always here, just waiting for us to wake up, stop grasping at shadows, and rest in the real.

If you are asking now, “what is ‘the real’ then?”, I cannot offer you a response that will satisfy. To answer is to fall short of the truth. Of course, many wise beings, out of compassion, have given answers; but these were never answers in themselves, but indications...pointing beyond themselves into truths indescribable.

I can speak to technique though, the very technique that is the cause of my own movement into waking. Look very carefully and consistently at all the senses, at the mind-body phenomenon, and ask, ‘Is this most essential?’, ‘Is this most intimate?’. Watch its nature, see if it changes and moves, see if it is ultimately solid or empty. Systematically, in this way, arrive at an understanding of what you are not. And what you have discovered yourself to not be, let go of. Let go of all the strategy and manipulation and projection and fear and desire bound up in what you are not.

This is all; the whole of the technique. As far as I can see, it leads all the way...all the way to full and final freedom. This systematic practice leads the unattached awareness back to itself, silent and still, undetectable, non-local, beyond space and time. It is the simplest of practices, yet it will take you through every imaginable experience, bringing into consciousness each fear, each belief, each identification that still lingers. All that is required of us is sincere resolve to stay conscious...consciousness itself will do the rest.

And, to the chagrin of the ego, the result of this practice is not, in fact, an individual incapable of practical thought and action...disconnected from the world. As the unreal falls away in the light of the real, the individual becomes straight and true, not held down and retarded by fears and self-interested desire. In all cases I know of, such a free individual becomes a conduit of beauty and strength, interested only in the welfare of all beings. Spontaneous service becomes their joy; they live solely to guide others back to themselves.


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I don't know how this dose of reality will change things. It has changed everything, to be sure, but I have yet to see where my life will now be drawn. For now, the sense of 'self-development', of needing to 'find the truth', of 'seeking' has taken a great blow. If what I have been looking for, I have always been, then the whole mind-strategy concerning how to go about life is sabotaged to its very core. The incentive is no longer 'getting there', 'finding it', 'becoming enlightened', etc. These were all subtle and sneaky mind-games to keep the heart agitated, in motion, fleeing from shadows. Now there is such a profound sense of rest, of being, of depth, that such strategies make no sense.

So now, as the holidays come to a close, I prepare for my third jungle journey. I am happy for this opportunity, happy to be traveling with a good friend, happy to accept in full consciousness whatever may come. All is well in Truth.

LightLifeLove,
Eka